The Elides

“Was it unexpected?” My boss asked, as she approved the meager five days of bereavement time.

“No,” I lied. Because that is the only acceptable answer when it was cancer. A heart attack, a car accident, those you can say, ”Yes, completely blindsided." But cancer? The big C? No. You had to have known. If you didn’t know that a family member, or worse, your parent was dying of cancer for months, maybe years, people will ask, Why didn’t they tell you? Didn’t they trust you? What did you do? So, you say “No” and save yourself from all those judgmental side-eyes at the funeral.

It wasn’t like we weren’t talking, like so many of my friends and their parents. We talked frequently. Well, maybe, not frequently. That would be a step too far. More than just on holidays. Often. At least, every few weeks. More than that would have been a little much. We were busy between the kids and work and life. Every few weeks felt like the right cadence.